October 1, 2008 – Letter

it’s presently a Pisces Full Moon so i’m running on Intuition while writing this – admittedly a fair amount of caffeine as well… my apologies for the amount of time it’s taken for me to get this out, but finding an edge of balance amongst these new surroundings hasn’t been simple… part of it has also been resigning myself to this medium – persynally there’s too much distance, no way to clarify semantics, read body language, feel if the intent reaches to the Heart as seen through the windows of the Soul… in some ways this language is so Dead it feels a blight to utilize it… there inlies my frustrations, yet this is the most viable tool i have before me ~ i can only wish… … and in calling things what they are, a transformation occurs – a change in relation brought about by the recognition of the subtle and unconscious aspects whose power resides in them being exactly that… … … one thing i’ve become intimate with during this experience is how closely aligned fear and freedom are within this society – it’s fuck’n scary feeling the impact i have on my environment at every level if i say hello to this persyn, and the ripple of effects which are caused; if i don’t say hello to another and it’s ramifications… and at the next larger bubble, if and what i put out to You and the possible retaliation… larger still, will the intent still reside within the symbols – can this form carry the intended content? … … and so i speak of – i write – knowing of the S.H.U… of ‘diesel therapy’, this may cause strings to be pulled in regards to my appeal, that this may not even make it out yet despite it all = the intent is … with that truth in my Heart, between my ribs, within and throughout my Body – the Fear dissolves and only Freedom remains… letting go effects my relation to their tools as they intend, regardless of how or when or to what extent they’re to be implemented – and believe You me, we’ve just barely seen the beginning of it all (prepare for the worst and wish for the best) … part of me hurts, feeling that it may have to be one of those lessons learnt only through experience; i never knew what dark chocolate tasted like until it was in my mouth with teeth grinding and saliva pumping (i.e., i may never have come to the relation with freedom which i now am without living through these experiences)… -sigh- we shall see… … … once again, too much love for all the Support and Solidarity. i’m go’n to be head’n off to hibernation for the Winter and creating some space for projects, which translates into my not go’n to be able to write folks back who write after the Equinox – so please spread that Love around. i feel and know it’s deeply needed everywhere… anyone holding on to ideas about sending any books, i’d appreciate it if those resources were utilized for easing the cost of my Partner’s visits or the legal funds of myself or others… Please take care of Yourselves, Our Loved Ones, and All You Hold Sacred… …

In Solidarity,
D
(aka Eric McDavid)
(find your joy)