It is the eve of D’s arrest date… Below is a letter from him, followed by one from jenny (his partner).
7 yrs… i can’t say it’s easy 2 put these words dn on paper – that it doesn’t pain me 2 look bk over these past 7 trips around the Sun… w/the process of the courts continuing n the final appeal stages; it’s end yet 2 show up on the horizon = no illusions, while still Dancing w/wishes… Love & Joy have also made their presence known = the overwhelming support from all over the Earth ~ i wish 2 Thank every persyn/grp that has written & supported me along this journey – Ur intents, N which ever forms they’ve taken, have aided & nourished me N remembering who i am N a situation & environment bent on unraveling, dismembering & remolding…along w/all the communal Solidarity, i’m grateful 4 the support of friends & family – & how i’ve been buoyed by the Love and Passionate Patience of my Partner = i Love you J, you R my Joy… … i’m unable 2 adequately express my feelings of Respect & Solidarity 4 all the folx Dancing w/the overt repression across the continent while staying True 2 their Hearts… 2 the folx Dancing w/Grand Juries = bide Ur time, this is 1 of the few circ.s where time is on the SD of the oppressed… w/N this cultural climate the Path is not easy or simple by any means – making it all the more important 2 find those unique, ever changing, beautiful & sustainable ways 2 aid & nurture each other… …. i’ll close wishing that each of U continue 2 explore & heal Ur Hearts & communities; may U find the space & time over the coming yr 2 let Ur minds play w/new & safe communication skills, & Ur bodies w/self-defense…
Stay safe & have fun finding Ur Joy
Tomorrow, January 13th, marks the 7th year of D’s arrest. It’s strange how life really does move in cycles. Glancing at the note I sent you all last year my eyes are greeted by good news. After his move to Terminal Island last year – right before the New Year – D and I were finally allowed to hold hands during our visits for the first time since his arrest. After 6 years. It was a reminder of how precious such seemingly insignificant acts can be – and to remember to never take them for granted.
On New Year’s Eve this year I spent the day visiting D at Terminal Island. The visit started normally – a much awaited hug and kiss, slowly moving to our chairs, but letting our hands linger – fingers intertwined as we reached across the tiny table between us. That lasted about 30 seconds. They called D up to the podium where they sit and watch… I heard a flurry of voices with undertones of urgency, although never hostility. When he came back he told me they weren’t allowing us to hold hands anymore. He tried once more to get them to check their own rules, but to no avail. After over a year of being granted this glorious privilege, it was yanked from underneath us.
So many things have been taken from us.
A million thoughts swim through your head at times like that. I knew this might happen. It’s always in the back of your mind – what they can/might/will take one day. I’m more prepared for it now than I used to be – which is to say it’s slightly less devastating when it happens.
I spent much of the car ride home thinking about loss. Sometimes it feels like my heart has broken so many times that the thing I am mending bears no resemblance to the original. That thought scares me. But then I think of the alternative. A friend recently told me that she always felt like love should be a safe space… I wish I could agree. But that has never been my experience. With love we throw our hearts wide open – which means everything gets in. The good, the bad, the ugly. And sometimes that means we hurt like hell. But other times that means we get to experience so much joy and beauty that we almost can’t stand it. And that is what I have experienced with D. And I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
D is an amazing individual. His heart is bigger than any i’ve ever known and his mind powerfully creative and beautiful… and his commitment to his friends, his family, and struggle is rock solid. Being his partner has been the most amazing, beautiful journey. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Even with all of the loss.
Sometimes my heart gets so heavy… but then I remember our friends and comrades who have followed similar paths. Many of whom are now out here with us, again. And then I remember all of you – who have been a part of this struggle. Who have been here with us every step of the way. And together we inch closer to that light at the end of the tunnel…
Tomorrow is the 13th. I’ll be driving down to visit D again. He called me the day after our last visit to tell me they found the “memo” that allows us to hold hands. How strange that a piece of paper can dictate my interactions with my partner of 7+ years. And that someone misplacing that piece of paper can be such a cause for panic, sorrow and reflection. I’m glad they found it. But D has told me it doesn’t seem to have fixed the problem… either way, I’m not holding my breath. Nothing is ever certain. And even if they don’t have it fixed…I know that nothing can stop us. Because we have each other. And we have all of you.
To all of our friends and comrades who have experienced so much loss this year – our unending love, support, and solidarity. You are never alone.
And to our friends and comrades who have gained their freedom – or at least pieces of it – welcome home.
With love and solidarity,
Eric has been in prison a long time…and he has a lot more to go. Please let him know that you are still thinking about him! Letters, books, donations, fundraisers and support events are still always needed. For more information on how to write Eric a letter or how to donate to his support fund, please visit: www.supporteric.org